Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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