She's JV to your varsity
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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