Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
