I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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