He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
