Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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