I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
