i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
