Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
