Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
