with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
