i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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