Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just cut my nipple shaving
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
