My friends, they love my intelligence
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
