It's Friday. Sex?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
