Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize