i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
