No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
