just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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