I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
