plz talk dirty to me
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
