great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
