I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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