Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
