also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
