If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
