He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
