so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
