dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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