Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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