I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
