Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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