Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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