If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
sarcasm needs its own font
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
