Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I intend to get homeless drunk
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
