We got so high we made milksteak
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
