i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I got inside last night via doggy door
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
