I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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