Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
