So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
