you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The beer is more important than you right now.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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