i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
