i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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