I love black thongs
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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