it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
