Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
