i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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