it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
