I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
