found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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