Someone shit on the floor
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
